i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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