sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
