i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
tell me about the eggs
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
