yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
