I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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