all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So much rum. So many feels.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
