i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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