Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
