I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
