i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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