Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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