I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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