A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
