This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
