I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
this will be a night to untag.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I know her cup size but not her name....
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
