I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
