I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Semen is not good for contacts.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
