So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
