Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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