it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
