Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
