I faked an abortion last night.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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