Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
