ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
