the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
A+ Viking dick
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