All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
