after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
