i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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