Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
