For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
