OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
