i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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