Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
