so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
