halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
