arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize