some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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