ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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