I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
