i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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