Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
