I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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