all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize