Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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