He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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