Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
