I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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