last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she looked like the before picture.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
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