I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize
