about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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