no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
