We won't sleep together?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
