Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
