I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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