He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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