He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
