she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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