Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
