my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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